Hunt for the Abominable Snowman!

There have been signs of this elusive creature for weeks now. But today, April 1st, has been the first reported sighting of the abominable snowman in the Kennicott Valley! We feel it’s our duty to quickly and diligently report what we know so far. Historically known to make its home in the Himalayan mountain range, we suspect that the record snow year has brought this mysterious creature here.

The first suspicion that something was amiss in the Valley was tied to large inhuman footprints spotted in the snow by the mouth of an ice cave. Not only were these footprints abnormally large, but whoever, or what ever, made the tracks, clearly wasn’t wearing any shoes. With a seasonal low of -60 degrees Fahrenheit, many people found it unbelievable that anyone would be walking around barefoot in the middle of winter – let alone by the dangerous opening of an ice cave! This led to a series of questions: What were these footprints? Could there be something living deep in the ice caves? Has anyone seen anything else that’s unusual? 

With much chatter around the community, a lot of possibilities were discussed. One of the leading theories, which quickly became the leading joke, was that whatever it was must have been seeking safety in the caves. From what you might ask? It’s one and only natural predator of course! Our infamous Glacier Ice Worms! Admittedly, this was only discussed around the fire after a few drinks with friends…

Although it was a distant sighting (and the spotter admits their glasses were fogged at the time), they feel strongly that what they saw was “abnormal” and went on to state “I don’t know man…I just got this feeling that something was watching me. And that thing didn’t feel entirely human. I could hear big branches breaking off in the trees. Plus there was this really dank funky odor, unlike any moose or bear I’ve ever smelled…”

We suspect we are just a short stop for this majestic creature and that it will push further into the isolated wilderness of Wrangell-St. Elias National Park & Preserve. After all, summer tourism will soon bring folks back into the Valley, making it harder for the abominable snowman to remain hidden.

Skip to content